My survival

There are two people that I've come to depend on week to week. They are always there for me and the girls. I haven't blogged for ages, because as you all warned me, I have no time. My only free time most days is the 10 minutes it takes to pump milk for the girls. But I had to write about these two people that devote two days of the week to helping me and the twins survive. With two babies and one of me, one is always angry at me. If they are both crying, the only options I have is to a)put them both in the stroller and go for a walk, or b) choose the loudest crier and pick them up. If I chose b option, the other one continues crying until I switch and give her some pick up time. But then, as soon as I do so, the first one that I held gets upset that Mommy put her down of course. Believe me, this method is better than them both crying in stereo. So one is always angry with me and that breaks my heart.

Luckily, two days of the week, my heroes Nana Linda and Uncle Dan come to the rescue. The three of us juggle the two of them all day. We take them on walks, go to various parks, sometimes even out to eat lunch, and the best part is, they are outnumbered instead of outnumbering me. When they are both crying, there are six loving arms to hold them and shhh them back to peace. I find myself able to relax on Nana and Uncle Dan days. It isn't all on me to do it all. We are a team. They say it takes a village to raise a child, well I don't know about a village, but it does take a family. And I couldn't ask for a more loving Nana and Uncle Dan. When these girls see them, their eyes light up. They know you love them!



Nana Linda (Mom)
Thank you for all you've done and all you continue to do. You were there for me in the hospital when I was afraid to be alone, you stayed on that awful recliner in the ICU. You moved in with us for weeks to help me while I helplessly recovered on the couch at home. When the girls came home, you were there and took over for Jason at night so he could sleep uninterrupted. You've done our laundry since I was very pregnant and couldn't hobble up and down the stairs. That alone was more than enough. You change your days at work to be here and help with the girls. You put up with the hours of colicy screaming (thank God that's over.) You've been spit up on a million times if not the receiving end of a blowout, sorry! You and Papa are always willing to babysit so we can get a break or go grocery shopping. And you can tell you love these girls more than anything and it is going to be such a special relationship between you. If it weren't for you, the girls wouldn't be here in the first place. You took me to all of my infertility appointments, you were there when we found out that they were twins, you took me to my ob appointments and saw the girls grow by ultrasound each visit. You hoped for them just as much as we did and you love them just as much. They know their Nana and are so excited everytime they see you. Thank you for helping me with them each week, we couldn't make it without you.

Uncle Dan
You are the best Uncle a child could hope to have. You have formed such an amazing bond with these girls, that all you have to do is look at them and they break into a smile. You can make them laugh better than anyone. They know and love you so much already. You have been there each week holding them, feeding them, playing with them, singing them to sleep, taking them on walks.... you have also been spit up on and they've screamed in your ears. And you continue to come and help me care for them. You are going to be a major role model in their life, I can see that. You will teach them the Word of God and they will see Christ in you. They are already learning the love of Jesus through you. The way you devote your time and energy into caring for them means so much to me and to Jason and we are so excited to see your relationship with them develop over the years. You are their Uncle Dan, and they love you to pieces. Thank you for being you and for loving the girls with all of your heart. You are irreplacable.

Thank you guys for all that you do. I am able to be a better mom because of the time you spend helping me. I can peacefully enjoy my babies and not feel so stressed and frazzled. The girls know you both so well and love you already! I wish I knew how I could even begin to repay you for the countless hours and energy you put into our lives. I know it's not always easy and fun, no matter how cute they are, it gets crazy here sometimes. What an amazing adventure we are on raising these girls! Thank you for being a part of it and making our lives easier.

I love you both!!!
Rebecca

Organization= My new best friend

I was never the most organized person and still I'm not in general. But when it comes to caring for these twincesses, organization is vital to our survival. Jason thought I was nuts when I wanted to have a changing station on the main floor. We put it in our dining room (that we never use) and I stocked it with baby blankets, spit up cloths, extra clothes, sponge bath necessities, and of course an endless amount of diapers and wipes. That is our lifeline folks. Everything we need for the babies is right where we spend the most time during the day. None of this running up and down the stairs madness. We have two bassinets downstairs, a bouncer, a swing, a boppy....it has become Babies R Us in our living room. It's all about the twincesses.

We have yet to use the girls nursery as they are living in our room with us for at least until Mom feels comfortable having them in another room, which I don't see anytime soon. With them being premies and having Kayla on her monitor, I need to be close to them all night. And day. So we have one of the cribs set up in our room. They sleep side by side, wrapped up in their sleep sacs, and in between their positioners, they are not going anywhere folks. We have another great help which is a fridge in our room to store the bottles for overnight, and a bottle warmer, so no running downstairs in the middle of the night to get bottles. It's become a great system and the girls are doing so well on it. Jason and I each take a baby and change diapers and feed them during the night. Sometimes they even go 4 hours between feedings. Others they go only 2 and a half. Love those times. It takes about an hour to heat the bottles and feed and diaper and then because Kayla has reflux, we have to hold her upright for about 15 minutes. I think I've learned to do all this in my sleep!

I think I'm doing pretty well here on my own with them during the day. The first day on my own was chaos at times, because, although having them on the same schedule at night is great, it's not so great when there is one of me, and both are hungry at the exact same time. The screaming ensues! So then I say to myself, "Which one is the loudest?" Just kidding. So now I've learned to wake one while the other sleeps and hopefully feed them before baby 2 wakes up and realizes they are hungry too. It's working well so thank God for that. I don't need to invest in Bose noise canceling headphones for feeding times.

So right now, Jason and the girls are taking a nap and all is peaceful in our house. Until just now a telemarketer decides to try and ruin our peaceful evening and wake them all. Luckily, we're all so tired, a ringing phone can't even wake us. The twincesses and his Royal Dadness are still asleep and Mom can play on the computer a little longer. Life is good!

Happy Due Date Babies!

Yesterday was our official due date so the girls are now full term! And next week they will be 2 months old. Although it would've been better of course to go longer in the pregnancy with the girls, I think of these last two months with them as our bonus time we've gotten to get to know them. They've grown and changed so much in the time when most people don't get to meet their baby until their due date. Most people, when they hear the girls were in the NICU, say they are sorry we had to endure that, and at first, it was very difficult to see them in the incubators, so small and helpless. But we witnessed two little fighters work so hard to learn to eat, to grow, and get strong enough to come home. We had so many precious moments in that NICU that I will never forget. In it's own way, thier time in the NICU was very special to all of us. I will never forget how I felt riding up the elevator the first time I "met" my babies. I had waited so long for that moment and it was overwhelming. I cried like a baby....and then reached in to touch little Alaina's hand and she squeezed my finger. My little girls.

It was a bit strange to "visit" my babies in the NICU, but we didn't know any different, so, to us, it was normal. It was a joy and I loved our visits with them each night. We were able to hold them and feed them, sing to them, kiss them, everything a normal parent would do. We just had to leave them there and tell them we'd see them tomorrow. It was a second home to us. And then, they were ready to come to their real home and we became a family.

A new day has come

Wow, I am wiped out. I never knew one could be so tired. These tiny girls are working us round the clock. I will write about a typical day in the life of us..

We are awaken by what we affectionately call the "grunting goats" letting us know it's time for round 111 of feedings. Jason has the amazing ability to get up and start warming their bottles while it takes me a little effort and finally I'm up and holding one of my little angels. Feedings are never simply feedings with our little ones. Since they are early, they still are working on the whole suck, swallow, breathe technique. Sometimes they forget the breathing part of the whole thing. So we take our time and take lots of breaks to allow them to catch up on breathing. We coach them the whole time, "Breathe." Kayla is on a monitor that beeps louder than a fire alarm if she stops breathing. Luckily it's only gone off a couple times since she's been home. Our poor little Kayla has acid reflux so she has to be held upright for 15 minutes after a feeding or she will be in pain. We are starting her on meds for that.

After feedings we head downstairs and they go to sleep in their bassinets for a couple of hours until the next feedings. That's when mommy and daddy go to work, cleaning all the bottles, nipples, pump parts, etc from the night before and trying to get laundry, housework, our favorite show...Lost, in before they are ready for the next feeding. This is our day, over and over, and at night, we pack up several bottles of breastmilk, head upstairs to our room where their crib is and continue the process all night long. We've discovered the beauty of white noise. I had downloaded womb sounds and sounds of the air conditioner to use as white noise which is soothing to babies, and come to find out, it's also soothing to us. It drowns out the little "grunting goat noises" that would otherwise keep us awake all night long. And they love it too and it puts them right asleep.

They are so precious and we could not be happier or more complete as a family. Such little personalities already. They seem happy here, and they say babies don't smile, but these little girls smile all the time at us. They know they are home.

Kayla weighs 5 pounds 13 ounces and Alaina weighs 5 pounds 10 onces.

My four pound babies are 4 weeks old!!!

4 weeks old already! Where has the time gone? 4 weeks ago today was my last night as a bowling ball (aka, pregnant with twins.) I am so glad to leave the trauma of our birth experience in the past and everyday I've been getting stronger and feeling more like myself. And everyday the girls are getting stronger too and their little personalities are showing more and more. Alaina weighs 4 pounds 6 ounces and Kayla weighs 4 pounds 11 ounces. Alaina is taking 2 out of three feedings by bottle and Kayla is doing 4 a day I believe. She is doing very well this week after that terrible scare she gave us last Tuesday. We had a talk about not scaring Mommy anymore. They took her off the human milk fortifier because they think that irritated her tummy.

I cannot get enough of them and love visiting them everyday at the NICU. It really is a very special time for us and lots of great memories are being created there. They are so beautiful. They are so alert now too looking around and following faces and voices. And they have the funniest expressions and quirks. The other day I was holding Alaina after her tubal feeding, and she had her hand on her chin, her eyes wide open and looked around, her mouth in an o shape as if to say, "Now usually when Mama holds me, I get a bottle. Not sure where it is or what is going on but I need to figure it out." It was hilarious how confused she looked. Kayla is taking her bottles so good for me lately in under 10 minutes! She's funny too though, sometimes after I burp her, she'll make it hard for me to get the bottle in her mouth. She closes her lips so tight, then when I take it away for a second, she sticks her little toungue out at me. Cheeky thing. That's an Australlian way of saying stinker, I learned that from my friend Carline. I have two cheeky little girls I already know it.

They have the softest hair and baby skin. And I love the way they smell. We brought home a set of matching outfits they had worn and I kept them by me all day because they had that sweet baby scent on them. I miss them so much and it is odd to have to "visit" your babies. But I know it's only temporary and it's for the best. I sometimes am jealous of the nurses who spend 12 hour shifts caring for them. But I don't think they sing to them or talk to them much, so I make a point to do that when I'm there so they know Mamas voice.

So they are now considered 36 weeks gestational age so it really shouldn't be too long now until they come home. Alaina will likely come first unless Kayla catches up with the bottle feedings, but she's getting there. As strange as it is to "visit" my babies, it still surprises me that we actually get to bring them home and that they are ours! Maybe one at a time will help ease us into this parenting thing. I know we'll do just fine, but with them being preemies, I will be more nervous. Jason is already an awesome daddy. He changes their nastiest diapers and dresses them. He loves them so much and I can see that he agrees this whole journey has been well worth it.

Thank you for visiting my first blog post. I'm continuing this from the babies online page as I am done with that. For photos of the girls, please visit our website www.jasonandbecca.com and go to Alaina and Kayla and then the photos are divided by month. I will update on here with how they are doing and what is going on in our lives.

Tonight my Aunt Kim is coming in for a visit and will meet the girls tomorrow! I can't wait to show them off to the whole family near and far. You all have been on this journey with us through my babies online page and I hope you continue to check in on us now and then.